Monday

Kasia Opens Her Big Fat Mouth (again)

I love these blogfests, so much fun. This one is all about whoopsies, courtesy of Laurel. (Thanks Laurel.) I can't wait to go through and read all of them.

After reading last night through Jemi's post on MC's in the kitchen, I realized I could have pulled a funnier/lighter moment with Jake messing up. Every time he tries to help Kasia in the kitchen he spills or breaks something--from the first night on. But, when I went through the WIP last week, my mindset was on Kasia.

Now, Kasia doesn't make mistakes. At least not cute little ones. When she messes up, it's big. Really big, like almost divulging a long time deep dark family secret of Jake's, in the middle of a dinner party hosted by his mother and father.

Of course, this also means her whoopsies are major spoilers. I did take out a few sentences and reworked names. Hopefully it doesn't appear too choppy with removed text and it still also makes some sense!

At the dinner party, Jake's mother, Katherine, is parading Kasia around and showing her off, much to Kasia's dismay, and discomfort.

*Katarzyna = Kasia. It's like using Kate for Katherine, etc.
*Jake's mother always adds an endearment onto her son's name (darling, dear, etc) when speaking to him and Kasia has picked up thinking of him as such, in a tongue-in-cheek way, when annoyed.
*Cholera = damn in Polish. At least for Kasia's purposes since the word can translate to a lot of things really.
*Rozumiem = I understand.

Snip removed for copyright purposes.

22 comments:

sarahjayne smythe said...

Poor Kasia, being ganged up on by members of the family and friends. I feel for her. And I liked this alot. :)

roxy said...

You're a great writer. I really like Kasia's thoughts and the tension between her and Jake. Good job!

Piedmont Writer said...

Nice job Tara.

As to the award, just make a copy of the picture on my blog, save it in your pictures, then when you go to post it on your blog, click on the picture icon as you write your post, browse for it, and then wait until it says done. Click on done and wah-la, award. Took me awhile to get the hang of it too.

Karen said...

Great job! I'm glad I found your blog through Laurel's blogfest.

Shelley Sly said...

I liked this scene. I could definitely detect Kasia's discomfort here, and sadly, relate to it as well. Well done.

laurel said...

Ooh, the pushy family members, they really make for cringe moments!

Thanks for participating in the fest and making it fun.

Amalia T. said...

I'm soooo dying to know what she was realizing. Definitely made me curious! Kasia has my sympathy, for sure.

Diana Paz said...

Ha ha, poor thing. Nice characterization, you really got me with Kasia. I liked her imitation of the wide-eyed pout look :)

Carolina Valdez Miller said...

I love how you work in the Polish. It feels very genuine. Beautiful characterization as well (OMG, cracked up when she tried to imitate the pout). Her respond to the notion of them having children was very telling. Nicely done.

Tara said...

Thanks for all the nice words of encouragement :)

Really love to read that there's a good connection with Kasia. Of all my characters, she was the one I originally worried wouldn't get much reader empathy. I worked hard to get her there.

Thank you to my new friends for joining my blog. I will be looking for you all shortly.

Laurel, thank you for hosting :)

Tara said...

Carolina, thanks for the compliment re: the Polish. I woked hours on end to make sure that I could get Kasia's Polish across without total confusion or having to translate. The words in this were used many times prior in the wip already, so I didn't spell them out here.

Jemi Fraser said...

Nicely written - families can cause so much trouble!!

Thanks for the shout-out! :)

VR Barkowski said...

This is fantastic, Tara! Kasia has a great voice. I especially loved little tiny bundles of plan-ruining attention usurpers. And as someone who tends to blurt things out at the wrong moment, I empathize with her Whoops totally. Oh, and that family - Oy!

Guinevere said...

I like this excerpt, especially Kasia and her voice (and the crazy family is fun, too). Although I must admit, you also sold me with the Polish. :p My maiden name is a -ski, and I have an affinity for all things Polish.

Tara said...

You're welcome Jemi, and thank you :)

VR, so glad you enjoyed it. It's not so much that Kasia doesn't like kids, she's secretly terrified of them, lol.

Love the name Guinevere (is it yours or a pen name?). One of my absolute favorites and I plan on using it for a character in a future novel. I had a ton of fun incorporating the Polish and lots of yummy Polish food into this. Kasia was born in America (her parents are Polish and Russian) and uses the last name Taylor, but it is mentioned that her real surname is Krawczyk.

Elizabeth Poole said...

I love reading about Polish and Russian people. So under appreciated! And the accent is so sexy! That's why I made the incubus in my scene from Russia. I loved this scene, and your characters. Great job!

Stephanie Thornton said...

Little plan-ruining usurpers- tehehe!

Very nice!

Abby Annis said...

Great snippet! Loved the voice. :)

Thanks for stopping by my blog and for following.

Donna Hole said...

Excellent; nothing more embarrasing than being at a family gathering and not knowing all the intimate norms. How do you do 30 years of catchup in 15 minutes?!? You really captured the sincerity of the moment.

Thanks for sharing.

.........dhole

Tara said...

Elizabeth - thank you, the bad guy in my book is Russian as well ;)

Thank you Stephanie, Abby and Donna :)

Nisa said...

"Thoughts of children and the Russian mob..." - That made me laugh out loud! So I'm confused about their motivations and so curious to read more. The befores and afters! Great scene!

Tara said...

Thanks much Nisa, and thanks for pointing me to this blogfest to begin with :)