Ooh! Soon-to-be-dead man... I like it! A really pacy piece of writing.
I was caught by the same line! The 'soon-to-be-dead man' is a great cliffhanger. Is she just thinking she's gonna kill him, or is this a bit of foreshadowing? Either way, awesome!
Count me in with Talli and Portia...love that line!I love girls in guys jobs...I hope you continue with this novel.Happy Weekend, Tara.Love,Lola
I rather liked "I grasped at words, and failed to find any (...) kicked his shin instead."Brilliant. Perfect bad grrrrl reaction. So how does she get back at him? (downside of blogfests: one only gets little glimpses of story and is generally left hanging); P
I love how she thinks that she's gonna kill him if any of his blood gets inside the helmet. Haha!Great job, Tara! :-)
In fifth grade, a girl just like that beat the hell out of me when I cut in front of her at the batting cage during recess.She had rings on every finger and she dented up my forehead with em.I never hit her back. I knew better.Then the recess lady made me run laps and sent me to the office to get licks.The girl she sent back out to play, poor sweet thing.Honestly, I've been in a ton of fights, especially schoolyards and parking lots, and that's the only fight I lost.That's tha truff, too.Thanks for reminding me... - Eric
Ooh...she's bad! And spunky! My only confusion was whether she was wearing or holding the helmet. It makes more sense if she's just holding it. I like her frantic rage. I would not like to be on the track with her...one wrong move and she'd send you into the wall with no thought to herself.Love it!Thanks for participating! Check out my entries when you get a chance!
Hah! My only wish is that it hadn't been so easy for the other guy to throw her over his shoulder. She could have taken him too, I bet. Fun read.
Talli - Thanks, girl :)Portia - She doesn't kill him, but he gets his... ;)Lola - I plan to get back to it one day. I really love Chloe and Jess, a bad girl and a badder boy ;)Tessa - I liked that line, too ;)Summer - Yeah, Chloe is pretty girly-girl for a racer.Eric - Awww, sorry to dredge up bad memories ;pAndrew - Holding it. Actually the guy she just attacked tried to send her into the wall in the next scene. It doesn't end well for him ;) I've read one of yours and plan to make it through the rest as soon as I get the chance. I love your stuff :)Valerie - Well, Jess is a big guy--6'4 compared with her 5'7. Plus, she kinda likes when he does things like that. Sometimes I think she does it on purpose...I think for fun I'll post his payback scene tomorrow. A little racy, I'll have to tone it down quite a bit for blog purposes first.
I wish I could be a "sweet" mouthed as Chloe!Jai
Nice pacing and tension and thrilling too! I hope you finish this! :) Unedited? Sounds good to me.
Sweet and awesomesauce!I like how she used the helmet. Good choice instead of just hitting him with her fist. Well done.
Jai - lolElizabeth - Thanks :)Dawn - Well, she actually used her fist on him earlier and it did no damage,guess she figured the helmet would get her point across better ;)
Ooo, I like that she's a race car driver and goes at her nemesis, good one! I also like her spunk and that she has a man willing to keep her from kicking someone's ass so he can do it later...or so it sounded to me.I struggled with the language thing, too, and took most of it out of the scene I posted.
Olivia - Oh yeah, Jess kicks Eddie's right into place. Of course, that ticks Chloe off even more.
This was a really fun scene. I like that you limit the imagery when she's taking swings and trying to hit the guy-- blind with her anger. You do a great job of conveying that senseless violent compulsion here!
Love her! She is so feisty and dishes it right back. Her relationship with Jesse is fun too. He challenges her and I really hope the "soon to be a dead man" line wasn't foreshadowing, but just Chloe's way of saying she isn't done with him yet.
Spunky, but not bad girl. I like it when a chick can take care of herself. This is one tough muchacha.I say she's not a bad girl in the sense that she needs to be this tought to survive her circumstances. Yet again, she didn't really need to take it as far as she did.But every female deserves their bad girl moment in my view; and hang the image. I could see me really liking this kid, and hopefully she doesn't lose all her spunk and spit once she falls in love.Way cool excerpt Tara. Thanks for stopping by my own entry earlier. Your comments were much appreciated..........dholeOMG; would you look at that! My word verif: dialogg.
Oh; don't tone down your scene tomorrow. I'm thinking it will be a total blast, just as written. I'll be back to check it out; but I do have to work so it will be late. As usual........dhole
Nice work Tara! Bad Ass Bitches are my fave! Keep up the great work!
Oh, I love Chloe. I love her a lot. I really like everything here. The dialogue is sharp and the tone and pacing of the piece are great. And I really love that line 'soon to be dead man.' :)
Very good scene...she's so out of control off the track and this Jess guy seems to know how to handle that.Harlequin is doing a Nascar series that you can submit for...romance, racing, rowdiness...Its a good read.
Amalia - Thanks for seeing that; I worked hard on it and am almost there I think.Donna - That was her 2nd run-in with Eddie. And his previous words were really ugly.Slush- Thanks, mine, too :DSJ - Glad you like her - you may be seeing more of her in the future ;)Raquel - Jess handles her very well, but then, they've grown up together. This isn't NASCAR, it's road racing. And as it stands this book is waaaayyy too long for a Harlequin series, not to mention the_cough_sex scenes are a little more than their norm I think.
Way cool. "Soon-to-be-dead man" is frickin' priceless.Love her blind rage. Very well written!
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