Saturday

Last Line Blogfest



Here is my contribution to the Last Line blogfest, hosted by Lilah Pierce.

From Roulette, it's short, but not so sweet.

Something seemed vaguely wrong about that statement, but spots floated overhead as the ceiling faded in and out. In the distance I heard angry epithets in Polish, and male grunts, but felt no more pain.

In fact, I felt nothing: no pressing weight from above, no hand over my neck. Death was going to come peacefully.

Or maybe it already had.



I apologize up front; I'm out of town (completely--blissfully--internetless), and I will not be able to read through and comment on everyone's snips. I hate to miss them!

30 comments:

Christine Danek said...

This has me very intrigued. I like this. :) Great job!

sarahjayne smythe said...

Oh. I love, love, love that last line. :)

Susan Fields said...

Awesome last line! Thanks for sharing!

Piedmont Writer said...

Perfect!

Charity Bradford said...

Wow, that is a great last line.

Enjoy your internetless weekend! I think I need one of those.

Jemi Fraser said...

Wow - that's quite the ending. Well done!

Enjoy a fabulous weekend :)

Lynn said...

Nice last line. It says a lot and leaves me questioning: Was she 'dead' to life?. I'd like to read all of Roulette. Great job! Enjoy your weekend!

Jai Joshi said...

So you're going to give us just two short paragraphs and slope off? That's cruel!

What happened to this person? Is she dead? Who's the person grunting? Where's the Polish person? So many questions and I need them answered!

Jai

bryan sabol said...

I agree with Jai -- very cruel of you (and darned good hook in such short work)!

Elaine AM Smith said...

That was powerful. A sad event but a great ending.

Catherine A. Winn said...

This was very good: description, character's POV. Well done.

Shelley Sly said...

Oh no! Don't get me wrong, I like it a lot and it's very well written, but how sad. Thanks for sharing!

Palindrome said...

Short and sweet(well not sweet) but very enjoyable! I would like to read the beginning of that.

Dawn Embers said...

Great last line. I like the connection it has with the line before it and the impression is leaves the reader. Well done.

Eric W. Trant said...

Reminds me of American Beauty.

A first-person book where the first-person dies at the end. That's a nice twist. Not sure if that's where you're going, but still.

- Eric

laurel said...

Lovely, shiningly tragic last line. Nice work!

Lilah Pierce said...

That was awesome! GREAT job with the ending! Thanks so much for participating :)

VR Barkowski said...

Poignant, sad and beautifully done!

Raquel Byrnes said...

That was so wonderful! Short, but so descriptive...the place, the situation, the conflict...wow.

Donna Hole said...

Excellent lead into the rest of the story.

I'm tingly with expectation.

.......dhole

Jon Paul said...

Oooh...intriguing. Especially considering what I'm currently reading. :)

Hope you had a great weekend.

Dawn Simon said...

That's great, Tara. Very intriguing!

SonshineMusic i.e. Rebecca T. said...

ooh. Nice last line. Hope you enjoyed your weekend! As you can tell, I'm just getting around to some of the entries now :)

Jen said...

Short isn't always bad, and you proved it here. This was really nice, and an excellent last line!

Talli Roland said...

Welcome back!

I love this. Sometimes I think shorter is better!

Lola Sharp said...

Great snippet...left us hanging off the hook! :)

Kimberly Franklin said...

Short and sweet! I love it!!

Stina Lindenblatt said...

Okay, you're so writing the last lines of my next book. ;)

Tara said...

Thanks so much for the comments everyone :)

Don't worry, Kasia can be a bit of a drama queen. And, somehow, she always comes through these sorts of circumstances remarkably well...

Rebecca @ Diary of a Virgin Novelist said...

Wow. Heavy.