Tuesday

Melancholy

*This is a repost from last year.

When someone close to you dies you get used to it. It never stops hurting, but you get used to it. For a long time after my mother died I still picked up the phone to call her, but now, heck it's been nine years. I don't forget she's gone. But I still miss her.

Nine years is a long time. I was pregnant with my children nine years ago. They've done a lot of growing since, growing I was unable to share with her.

I miss her when Daughter does something oh so like Mom. I miss not being able to tell her said daughter has Mom's hideously gaudy taste in jewelry, shoes, and sometimes clothes. I miss her when I want to remember a funny story that has faded into my storage files. I miss her most, though, when my kids ask why Grammy Sherry died before they could meet her.

I miss her when Son gets her snarky attitude. No, I swear, he got it from her - I'm never snarky. Nevah. (Oh hush, I heard that!)

But, I am used to it.

Happy birthday Mom. Thanks for passing on to me that undying passion for all things written and your taste in music (and the rock stars that make the music). I hope you've met Jim Morrison and he's as dreamy as you always imagined.

21 comments:

Will Burke said...

That's beautiful. I think I'll go call my mom.

Robert Guthrie said...

Gorgeous. I'm honored to read this. Your mom raised you well.

Linda G. said...

Aww. Beautiful. *hugs*

My dad died before my children were born (when I was still a kid, actually) but I sometimes see him peeking out at me from their eyes. Makes me feel good to know a part of him still inhabits my world. :)

Zan Marie said...

Tara,
Prayers and hugs. I do know the feeling.

Lola Sharp said...

Awww. Happy Birthday, Tara's mom!

I hope she's rocking with Jimmy , too. :)

*hugs*

Love,
L

Anne Gallagher said...

I cried last year when I read this. I'm crying now, rereading it. Your mom would be so proud of you and all that you've accomplished. ((hugs))

KarenG said...

This is so beautiful and yes, melancholy. It is making me cry. Bless you.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

We always need our Moms. Always. Hugs to you.

Melissa Bradley said...

Beautiful. I lost my dad nine years ago and every September when his b-day rolls around, I listen to some Bob Seger. My youngest nephew never knew him, but I see a lot of Dad in him.

DL Hammons said...

I can sooooo relate to this post!! Thanks for sharing it! :)

Old Kitty said...

What a beautiful tribute to your mum!!! It's so lovely to know that she lives on in your children! take care
x

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

That is a wonderful tribute to your mother. Her memory will live forever.

welcome to my world of poetry said...

A wonderful tribute to your mother.

I can relate to this my mother has been gone going on 13 yrs this year and I was devastated when she passed away. Three days later my husband was diagnosed with cancer and 2 months later her too was gone.
One gets used to it ......but never forgets, you have to acccept your loss to start to "Live" again.

LTM said...

oh, ((hugs)) to you. I miss my g'mom like this, and I especially miss her missing her grand-daughters. She would find them hilarious~

best to you~ xoxo

Tara said...

Thanks for all the kind words, everyone :-)

Been a hectic week, with a sick kid, already. Hopefully I'll be back to the blogoshpere tomorrow!

mshatch said...

thanks for making me grateful I still have my mom.

Deniz Bevan said...

Aww, Tara, don't make me weep at work. Prayers and hugs to you {{}}

Angelina Rain said...

Beautiful post. I’m sorry for your loss.

Doo said...

A really beautiful and truthful post from you.

Sorry to hear for your loss :/

Beth said...

Having lost my own mother less than a year ago, and my father only a few months later, I can relate.

Hugs.

Megan K. Bickel said...

This is a really beautiful post. Thank you for re-posting so a new follower could read it.